We try to pursue “happiness” as a goal and avoid anything that could take it away from us. But what does “happiness” really mean?
When it comes to happiness, we often associate it with a lasting positive state without negative things mixed in. We try to pursue “happiness” as a goal and avoid anything that could take it away from us. But what does “happiness” really mean?
Like your favorite food, eating too much at one time can be counterproductive. On the contrary, if we eat in moderation, we will actually enjoy more each time we enjoy it. Likewise, experiencing sadness also helps us appreciate happier moments more.
Below are common myths that make it difficult for us to achieve true happiness.
Thinking that everyone is always happier than us
Most of us often assume that everyone is happier than us. Thinking about the pursuit of “happily ever after” in the fairy tales that haunt us since childhood. In the media, people also tend to share the best aspects of their lives (and we do the same). Therefore, it is easy to mistakenly believe that happiness is always around.
In life, there will always be something that prevents us from achieving a “full-time” state of happiness. The perfect life is a luxurious dream, even for the sexiest star or the richest billionaire.
When we feel negative, small fluctuations in life can easily become big waves for us. Like when arguing with a lover, getting stuck in traffic at the end of work, or missing a deadline due to factors that we cannot control. At times like these, we tend to think that bad things are aimed at us. The context in which “everyone seems to be happy” on social networks makes it easier for people to exaggerate their unhappiness.
But arguments, traffic jams, and missed deadlines are things that everyone will encounter. And no one can feel happy at those times. At some point, when you have a chance to look back, you will see that the “really big” problems were just small disturbances in a long line of experience.
To be happy, you must be perfect
Wanting a happy life is an extremely legitimate desire of every person. So what can we do?
First, let go of the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Perfectionists are often the least satisfied in their personal lives and are at higher risk for eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and depression.
If life were perfect, we would lose the ability to empathize and grow. It is difficult experiences throughout life that help us have more compassion for others.
To be truly happy, stop pursuing eternal happiness and accept the ups and downs that happen in life. Understand clearly that happiness is a constant back-and-forth between positive and negative events.
Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment of the present, learn to be grateful for it. You may not like your boss or the repetitive work you do every day. But then one day suddenly, you wake up and lose your job due to the Covid pandemic. Now you will feel that the “imperfect” life of eight hours at work is not so bad.
The constant things in life are not always positive. When you catch yourself constantly annoyed by little things, remind yourself: if they all disappeared, how empty life would be.
Happiness and sadness cannot go together
Life is always beautiful until unexpected rains and storms strike, making us feel helpless. Rain or shine, it’s still a part of life. Don’t try to run away from those sadness and negative moments.
Joy is only meaningful when there is sadness. Just like you know which food is delicious after accidentally ordering a bad dish a few times. Without comparison, it will be difficult for us to fully feel happiness when it comes to us.
Conclude
Achieving life satisfaction requires meaningful experiences and achievements, although the path to achieving them is not always fun. Being able to create both growth and meaning from negative and positive events is the true meaning of “happiness”.
